John Threat

if (BeyonceRemix.flv) { } Downtime between directing gigs is no time for slacking. I cooked this up while waiting for film to get back from being transfered. It's part art, part social commentary, but mostly just fun. Video mashups! The first episode is a re-imagining of the music video for superstar Beyonce's (featuring Jay-Z) megahit "Crazy in Love." It combines that song with sexy moves of Betty Boop. Cut on Avid, this piece achieves sync from various editing tricks of the trade including but not limited to invisible speed ramps. The real secret is that the origin of many things have a common starting point, but myopic thinking and limited world views sometimes obscures those origins. I'll expand upon that theory later. The truth is.. the kids love video mashups. It's the new form of communication. I plan to incorporate mashups into a new secret project I'm casting for even as we speak. Check it out in: Windows Media | Quicktime| Flash| PSP PS: Cartoon Network or Boomerang has on a Betty Boop mashup that was, well, just ok. I wonder if it predates mine, or did someone see it and rip the idea off. This post has been screenhead approved!

Here is the final on the Deviants Of Reality Music Video for their European hit "Mysitkal." The artist asked for a retro 80's feel to the video so we shot with warm saturated colors with a close intimate feel with the artist and the extras. For some reason, people seem to really like this throwback style video - it really appeals to women with it's non-threatening vibe and crystal clear simplistic lyrics and warm visuals. We shot the video over a one day period in Red Bank, NJ, which I had never even heard of. The feature girl, Mounia was flown in from Europe for the occasion, a model who was a favorite of Dj Alex J. There are two effect shots in the music video, which were composited by Johnathan T. Winbush. They should be easy to spot. There was a scrapped scene due to time constraints imposed by a restless bar owner where the feature girl, Mounia would have walked backlit by a glowing ring almost like a body halo toward the music artist. Hopefully that scene reappears in another video one day. The original treatment I submitted for the video included a climatic scene where the feature girl ultimately lure DJ Alex J to the kitchen and cooked him on the grill and ate their innards as he still performed - now that would have been mystical! In retrospect, maybe the whole cannibalism thing wasn't really right for them - but one day!

Check out this flash cartoon that I made a while back. It explores things in this world you absolutely should not mix. I decided to post it because the other day I saw some pigeons eating vomit and it reminded me the horrible conditions here in the city that they have been forced to endure. They gobbled up that vomit like they hadn't had a decent meal in ages. The worst pigeon story I remember was once time they took us on a class trip to the Bronx Zoo and we were transfixed by the elephants. I mean Pachyderm's are usually a site to behold in person, but all of a sudden Dumbo just took a giant dump. It litteraly fell out like a huge brick the size of a small cathode-ray tube television (remember those?). The pigeons decented on it like someone dropped off a box of Beluga Caviar in front of Lincoln Center. The huge flock literally devoured it in seconds as though it was a gourmet treat. Yes.. you can blow pigeons up with Alka Seltzer. Their tiny stomaches can't hold the full force of ant-acid tablet in action that even a peice of Alka Seltzer can provide. They tend to try to fly off before they explode with a sicking pop into a rain of organic debris. Sometime's they don't explode, they just distend outward and lay there thrashing around in a painful death that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemies, but maybe on someone who skips you in line at the supermarket.

The New York Premiere of Dead Prez: Bigger Than Hip Hop went off down at B.B. Kings. It was a lush affair with very tasty Hors D'oeuvres, top-shelf open bar all night, and gift bags with more than just a t-shirt and a magazine. All the usual accoutrements one expects from a shindig like that. I rolled up in the Jeep down 42nd street playing Alice Smith's "Dreams," as all the teeny-boopers and bridge and tunnel throngs queue on line for movies turned their head and wondered who was that nicely dressed asshole pumping alternative rock. My pockets were turning up rabbit ears, but I didn't let that deter me, the red carpet beckoned me and I just knew I would be ushered in to the VIP area sipping on $30 mixed drinks with gold flakes and eating carmelized truffled stuffed mushroom caps with fish eggs on it. I parked the jeep, walked up the front of B.B. Kings, where I was promptly ignored by the bouncer with the list. I stood there smiling vacantly as he artfully articulated his neck in an astonishing number of permutations in order to not acknowledge me. Luckily several people came to the door and mentioned politely that I was the director of the film, to which he replied "I don't care, he isn't getting in." So I spent the better part of the premiere standing outside purposely. I just gathered up a huge crowd of people who knew me until it was cleared with the bouncer that I could come in, and I just bought in an entirely too large entourage. I later shook the bouncers hand. No hard feelings, it's just a frigging party. I had more important things to attend to! I had to get my all access pass, but for some reason, my all access pass had been given to someone! I didn't really care about having one, but it seemed I needed it to walk people in who were supposed to be on the list. Unforuantely, the person who had my pass didn't want to give it up even after being asked to reliquish it several times. They wanted to perpetrate with it all night. Seems as though a laminated placard on a lanyard is worth a puglistic episode these days. I finally got it and I promptly zipped up my coat to cover it so that I wouldn't seem so pretentious. They only showed a short trailer which was good because most people were fully buzzed if not totally inebrieated by the time the projector went on. I couldn't bare to watch because the projector really didn't do the HD footage justice. One of the network execs asked me while I was ignoring the travesty of low-res lcd projectors, where my girlfriend was and I sheepishly said I was single. It's been so long I forgot how I ended up single, but luckily after a few peices of catfish, temporal amnesia set in. Dead Prez jumped on to perform and the rocked the crowd. Then my surrogate pops Melvin Van Peebles jumped up and did an impromptu rhyme! Gotta give it up to MVP, he is the man. We finally rolled out around 1am, and I had to bum some cash to get my jeep out of the parking lot. I was exhausted, so I skipped the after party for the comfort of home, kicked back and watched The Cartoon Network and drifted off to sleep counting apple martini's as they danced in my head. Side note: There was also an Atlanta Premiere that was a lot of fun, as well, although not as laced as the NY Premiere, I had a lot of fun, since it included drunken relvery, bluffing into $50 clubs for free, high speed car chases in Macon, GA, crashing cribs, rescueing pretty girls from down-low barflys, and raucous recollections over hatless sushi dinners with unlimited bottles of white wine: Thanks to those special people who made my trip more than just a pit stop. Watch Dead Prez: Bigger Than Hip Hop - June 9th 10pm on Starz in Black!

Me and a friend of mine grinded thru back to back videos this month. The first one, Giles Francis directed Heather Hunter who now goes by "Double H" for the song "In Love." A R&B tune that will be perfect for the lazy August months when you meet a new girl. I lensed it for him in the DP slot. We shot it over 3 days in the Dumbo area of Brooklyn. It stars the comedian Michael Collie chilling in his Benz. Heather's last video, also directed by Giles is still in rotation on BET Uncut. We really nailed an awesome shower scene. Here are a few shots from the video: The next video was for Deviants Of Reality and their song "Mystikal." shot in 1 day in Red Bank, New Jersey that I directed. The Deviants asked me to craft a retro- later 80's, early 90's rap video feel. They flew in Mouina so her hair could star as the main love interest. The song has a real lounge trip-hop vibe to it. Dare I say it? Laid Back! Hip-hop smoothed out on the R&B tip with a Pop Feel Appeal? (Thanks Bell Biv Devoe!). I watched some old Tribe called quest, Club Nouveau, and others from that time period. We picked some reddish and sepia color palettes to work with. Add in some Marcus Raboy style fades to black, and you've gone retro! The artist, label, and distributor XYZ loved it and they decided to release a double CD/DVD case for their units with the video on the DVD. It will be primarily marketed in Europe and abroad. Here are some shots from the video: Attached to this is a sample of the video for 'Mystikal' which is still undergoing a last pass for color correction and two special effects shots to be inserted. Both videos should hit their respective markets in July.

How do these things relate you ask? Frustrated recently by my interactions with women, I took to the highway along the east side of manhattan known as the FDR Drive named after Franklin Delalno Roosevelt (who I believe wasn't known for being swift), and agressively ate it up at a modest 80 MPH, which ain't easy in a top heavy jeep running 31", but I made it from Brooklyn to the Bronx in about 5 minutes using 3 lane power drifts and tight cornering. So, here is a great idea! Why not attach a camera to the jeep's grill and record driving down some of the coolest parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn! I saw the Tony Hawk Helmet Cam, and realized it was perfect for this. I could purchase this for $99 and mount it, and share the cool results via this blog, or pester my freind Jen Bekman to show it in her art gallery as a video installation peice. With a quick search with google I found out that someone made a cool film like this in 1978. French Filmmaker Claude Lelouch made C'était un rendez-vous, where he afixed a camera to his Ferrari and ran red lights at 120mph thru the streets of France. When he first showed it in public, he was arrested. It's impressive and you can view it here in quicktime and in flash. They are re-releasing it on DVD, which I may have to, excuse the expression, cop. I don't know yet, if speed is really what I am going for, and the other debate is should I spring for a better lipstick camera such as this one. It has a better resolution and certainly could be used for other purposes, however the tony hawk device is cheap enough to be dispoable and it has it's own recording mechanism, which is a plus. I'll pull the trigger on one soon. PS: Can anyone out there make me a better button for downloading a flash or quicktime video? I think the buttons I have are unclear that there is a download attached to the post.

I picked up the Zoombox from Target to compare it to my homemade video projector. The Zoombox has a few things going for it on paper, that made it seem like a good affordable way to have a projector party. Check out the commercial attached to this post. Turns out I was totally wrong. I returned it so fast I didn't even have time to take pictures of it, but I'll run it down quickly: Pros: - It's compact. A little on the bulky side, but it's self contained for the most part. Only the power supply is the only thing you need to carry outside the unit itself. - It has a built in DVD player which worked fine. There is no remote, but there is a full feature illuminated control panel on the top of the unit. - Built In Speakers, so it's pretty self contained. Pop in a DVD and you are rocking. - Audio and Video input ports allow you to pump in video sources from your laptop, desktop or gaming system. Cons: - Totally Cheap Non-Impact Plastic. Drops this thing once and it's good night. -The resolution is just 557 by 234 pixels. The output has horrible that results in a moire pattern. You can see the dots that make up the image on the wall, even from a distance. You need at least 800x600 for a decent picture. - The speakers don't exactly reproduce the most brilliant sound. It sounds like piezo speakers on an amp. - Weak lamp that won't last very long before it burns out. - Price: $325 after tax! This thing won't last beyond a week after the holiday for kids. If this thing was $99 it would be brilliant. At $325, they are taking the piss. PS: I returned it for my cash back...

Done by someone named sikamako, I thought this was a really good video game mashup of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker game -vs- Classic Super Mario Brothers. I don't know who sikamko is, but he certainly rocked this mashup that I found funny! I hope to see more of these appear.

The village people actually had a movie come out in the early 80's called Can't Stop The Music"Can't Stop The Music." In the movie they do a commercial for a Milk campaign. Although this movie is horrible, this music video/commercial is, at least in my opinion tight! This could actually be a rocking Milk promotion. The song is catchy, and the dance number is well executed. The set is fabulous and the backup dancers dance as though their life depended on it. The movie stars Steve Guttenburg and was directed by Nancy Walker; The old lady from the Bounty Paper Towel commercials. It cost $25,000,000 to make and market internationally. Nancy Walker would say on set to those who questioned her vision: "Honey, you gotta remember movies are nothing but little peices of shit snipped together!" Catchy, eh? Needless to say it was a commercial failure and set back women big budgets for women directors in Hollywood for another 10-15 years. It was produced by Allan Car who did Grease, managed Nancy Walker, and had a cut of the Village People. A few screenshots from this cult gem: If you look closely here. The Village People freeze while sucking on gigantic straws. The subtext here is clear. The Village People's leader singer does an odd dance positioned over a woman's upturned legged. I guess this odd staging is supposed to be sexy. It's interesting in a Twyla Thwarp sort of way as you have to figure out the subtext. You know, in writing this, I just caught what the subtext is. Let's move on. This is one of my favorite parts, where they do this cool dance with thier hands on their knees and they go side to side. I am wondering about incorporating that into a dance routine for one of my projects. I'll try to pull it off at a club and see how people take it.

Downtime between directing gigs is no time for slacking. I cooked this up while waiting for film to get back from being transfered. It's part art, part social commentary, but mostly just fun. Welcome to RetroMorphisis: The first episode is a reimagining of the music video for superstar Beyonce's (featuring Jay-Z) megahit "Crazy in Love." It combines that song with sexy moves of Betty Boop. Cut on Avid, this peice achieves sync from various editing tricks of the trade including but not limited to invisible speed ramps. The real secret is that the origin of many things have a common starting point, but myopic thinking and limited worldviews sometimes obscures those origins. I'll expand upon that theory later. Check it out in: Windows Media | Quicktime| Flash| PSP This post has been screenhead approved!

The second installment is a reimagining of the music video for georgetown university's Amerie summer anthem "One Thing." This video uses high energy cuts, transitions on movement to keep the energy level high. Check it out in: Windows Media | Quicktime| Flash| PSP This post has been screenhead approved!

A lot of the projects I have been working on have been top secret, and heavy production turns have blocked me from posting from field (until I get my nokia 770 which is due out any day now. November to be exact.) Check out the music video I directed for NORE. It's a reggaton song called "Chosen Few." Noreiga is a veteran rapper with such hits as "Nothing" and "Superthug" who has a foot planted in the new reggaton scene that has exploded. He's a talented guy. He perferred a more mature "for the Grown and Sexy" video, than any of the other more high octane adventure type music videos that are more my forte. However I certainly am not adverse to shooting video's saturated with King magazine feature chicks. This video was shot on super 16mm with anamorphic lenses, so check it in quicktime for the full 16:9 experience or in flash for the 4:3 squeeze into letterbox format. Check it out on a music video show near you.

Anyone ever have Freshen Up? I had it once when I was little and never again. Let's face it, this gum is primarily for women. I mean who *really* is accustomed to sticky viscous liquid violently bursting into their mouth? This certainly isn't the sort of treat most people would enjoy. This observation is backed up by the advertising agencies obvious use of a nearly naked woman juggling a ball with her head tilted back in the commerial. (Who tilts their head back to ingest gum?) As the soundtrack builds momentum with chants of "Here it comes," it ultimately culminates in a multi-color orgasmic explosion and a fully satisfied customer. If they ever need a new campaign maybe they could rename it "Bust One" with the tag line "Bust One Off, Today!" We're all adults here right? Some would even dare say this gum is an enabler for alternative lifestyles. I certainly wouldn't go that far, but some of the lab rats they tested it on moved to Chelsea. The gum that goes squirt, indeed.

Everyone from the New York tri-state area of a certain age remembers this adorable Public Service Annoucement, "We're Not Candy".The PSA was sponsored from a Long Island Pharmaceutical orginization. Busta Rhymes used part of it in the chorus of his classic hip-hop song "Dangerous." I hear there are a lot of other songs excerpting this song. There are 3 stanzas of which most people only remember the first and the third. I only have the audio here in mp3 format, but I hear there is a copy of the video knocking around up at VH-1 from the researchers working on I Love The 80's. I haven't gotten my hands on the video as of yet, but if someone has it please do share. I'll get over to VH-1 Research department sometime in the next couple of weeks and I'll post the video.

It's a bit morbid, but everyone in New York these days is comtemplating the next big one. Here is a site that at Atomic Archive that illustrates what a 150 Kiltoton bomb would do if it were detonanted at ground zero of the Empire State Building. It's frightening to see how devasting an attack of this size would be. It's good to have a plan of action, but don't panic and buy Potassium Iodate Tablets. Suitcase nukes, which are easily transportable and concealed are estimated to have a 3 - 10 Kiltoton yield depending on their design, which is dramatically smaller than the outline for effects presented in the above example. One could estimate that a suitcase nuke could only take out Macy's the world's most overrated department store, with the fallout being contained to the Ralph Lauren collection. Check out the flash video of several atomic bomb explosions, preceded by a somber forward by Robert J Oppenheimer: Father Of The A-Bomb that puts it's creation in perspective. He's kind of a downer, but let's face it, if you survive the bomb, it's gonna be a really good for dating for a number of reasons. Lower competition, some married or steady couples partners will be freed up, commonality for discussions, lots of new activities to share such as rad counting and foraging. Just for reference the picture on this entry is the Yeso test shot: A 3 Megaton Explosion. Truly a holocaust on earth. Maybe this why everyone is moving to Brooklyn? Based on that map, I'll be hiding out over in the Gateway Shopping Center on the other end of Brooklyn. If it all goes down, let's rendezvous there.

Check out this 80's commercial for Whamo Water Wiggle. Boy times sure were different then. Ahh the innocence. You are supposed to attach this device to your water hose and it's supposed to be a toy. I have to say, that if you for a moment pull back and look at this thing objectively it really looks like a flying dildo. Chaotic flying disembodied phalluses are not exactly the best playthings for children. What happened to anotomically incorrect action figures and dollies? No wonder kids were driven indoors to zonk out on video games, their outdoor toys had turned on them like a Boy Scout leader on a camping trip. *** Caution: These Images Are Graphic And Not For Children ***

Petticoat Drums is a small peice I cut together for the Faran Center and my friend Dr. Francis. It consists of a music track from a very talented group of african drummers whose name escapes me and footage from the 50's culled from archive.org. See if you can catch the artistic subtext that I like to imagine is there. Let me know what you think of it. Check it out in flash or quicktime format or catch it on the videocast. A good client for podcast and videocast retrieval is fireant or itunes. I am currently using fireant myself.

I was cleaning off my answering machine when I found this little gem. My neighbor going off irrationally about her socks. For some reason she felt she couldn't get on the plane without her generic pair of socks that she left in my car. Click on the speaker to hear her go to the moon with it. Do you think socks warranted such a dressing down?

Anyone remember that some episodes of the Flintstones were closed out by Pebbles and Bam Bam playing instruments and singing a Southern Baptist Pentecostal song. You feel like they may handle snakes at any moment. Who knew that Hanana-Barbera had Evangelical Christians working behind the scenes. So we can establish the devil existed B.C., in the Flintstone universe, but isn't the fact that there are dinosaurs and cavemen in this universe a co-sign for Evolution, a concept that borders on heretical for Evangelists who extoll Creation? Maybe this song was a way for them to strike back and the obviously pro-Darwinistic message that the Flintstones still brings to young eager minds around the world. The song features lyrics like: Mommy told me something A little kid should know It's all about the devil And I've learned to hate him so I don't know about you, but anytime the devil is mentioned to a kid, they are gonna have nightmares. Hate is such a strong emotion, I'm not saying to empathize with the devil, but teaching kids hate is a bit extreme. If I forget to say my prayers The devil jumps with glee But he feels so awful awful When he sees me on my knees Something about this line smells Jon-Benet Ramsey-ish for some reason that I can't put my finger on. Listen to how they sing it and you'll catch my drift. I can't remember an animation that came on prime time TV that had a more blantant religious message inserted into it. This song is too secular for even Davey and Golitah. To catch the song here in MP3 format click the speaker or you can catch it on the podcast. "Dahling.. I'm much too important too be captured..."

I won't delve deep into Michael Jackson, as one could devote a blog just to his surgical proclivities. What I am interested in is that cruel twist of fate that most of the Jackson siblings have had or been involved in monster hit songs that have dominated the musical psyche of the entire globe. Even the rarely heard or seen Rebe Jackson had an undeniable hit with Centipede. Only Latoya, has never actually had a hit record, which is a shame, because although she looks like she smells like Liz Taylor's White Diamonds, heavy base makeup, and bacon bits. She is always on Larry King, so she must be a celebrity. Check out her 80’s song “Heart Don’t Lie,” with its faux patois intro, infectious Calypso rhythms, and her obviously more talented counterpoint duet singer. I rock this in the jeep as a guilty straight-edged pleasure. PS: This blog is now XML audio enabled. You will be able to recieve either a strictly audio feed via RSS for what is currently called a podcast, or you can see the audio in the standard RSS feed. There is also an audio icon associated with posts that have audio attached. You can click on that icon to listen or download the audio. Let me know if it works for you.

I've glimpsed the future of modular computing at Sony with their DataTiles project. It could have huge implications on public computing , consumer transactions, UI design, a true modularity in programming wit modules that interact in ways that even the designers of the original units couldn't even fathom. Ok, maybe that's a bit farfetched, but watch the mpeg video (33megs) here and judge for yourself. Does this make watching old sci-fi movies and televisions computer interfaces even more painful or even more relevant? Definately worth taking a look at this and incorporating this into whatever you are doing. Modularity, the rapid exchange of data via a new schema between systems will take computing to a new level. Very exciting.

One of the songs getting play in the Jeep right now is the theme song to Chico and the Man. Click the speaker to check it out. It's done by Jose Felciano who rock this song in english and spanish. The show also had a small role for Scatman Crothers who everyone says I sound like. Considering it's uplifting message, I wonder if Jose knew that the star of the show Freddy Prinze was depressed. His son Freddie Prinze, jr is a big star and is actually about to star in his own sitcom that they are casting for now. You can learn more about the show here.

Robots are about to blow wide domestically and in the workplace. 2005 isn't quite the year, but 2008 will be. The AIBO and the Roomba are just teasers of what's about to come blow down the doors. Take for instance Kokoro-Dreams's Actroid robot. It's taking everyone in Japan by storm. It looks real when it's sitting right next to real human beings. You can see a video in action of the Actroid here in real media format(4 megs). Right not it's perfect for a tool with canned responses as a information booth staffer (no need for senior citizens or interns to staff those, pity.) The advancements in articulate limbs , sensors, and speech synethisis are all moving rapidly. The challenge to me is in designing neural nets that actually learn exponetionally. Object avoidance and naviagtion is coming along nicely, but language parsing, and higher cog functions are really hard to emulate, but processing power is making that a relality (comparing photos , audio and video in real time helps immensely) The feds took all the work I did on my language parser, but I've been piecing it together again, which is even better with the advent of the internet that allows you to pull up information on any subject instantly. The Lawnmower Man and the Terminator movies weren't too far off in describing scenarios for the rapid increase intelligence for a entity connected to databases provided they can parse the information and contextualize it rapidly enough. I'll build on that later...

The Harlem globetrotters are passé now-a-days. Thanks to fantasy basketball video games, basketball players who rap, and the Cirque du Soleil. They basically are clowns in shorts, but I have a lot of respect for them. At one point they were so red hot, that not only were they in a TV movie special where they were on Gilligan’s island (where is the TV executive who green lit that!) but they also had a Saturday morning cartoon! I mention it because they actually had in my opinion a super-hot theme song which you can listen to here in mp3 format In fact, it had two incarnations. The Harlem Globetrotters and then 9 years later the Super-Harlem Globetrotters. The former one is the song you hear. It was dope, the second version was more comical and not even worth mentioning. I've wanted to do a website for a long time that focuses on cartoon characters that me and my friends would fornicate with.