The Voice of Free Planet X

By Andy Duncan. Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Voice of Free Planet X). âFenneman?â The studio audience laughed loudly, as it always did when Groucho turned, in mock desperation or annoyance, to his long-suffering, hopelessly square announcer. Grouchoâs voice slightly increased in pitch whenever he said Fennemanâs name, as if he were just at the edge of losing his celebrated cool. This half-squawk had been funny in the stateroom scene of A Night at the Opera (âSteward! Steward!â), and it was still funny on You Bet Your Life twenty-five years later. He was a pro, Groucho was, and I did right by him; I modulated that pitch myself. Rated R. Contains profanity, and real and simulated persons behaving badly. Featured Site: Playing for Keeps

The Darlanians do not have travel as you know it, preferring instead to remove their consciousnesses from their bodies, and witness the world from a purely mental point of view. As ghost-like apparitions, they will be very interested in your dependence on your physical body, and may attempt several ways to remove you from it. It will be important to remember that the âbody dematerializer deviceâ that they will try to put you in does exactly what you might expect.

I chat with Nathan Paoletta about game writing, mechanics, theory, and his excellent games Carry and Annalise. If you're thinking about writing your own games, are dedicated gamer, or are just curious as to how a game about the wrenching era of Vietnam can lead to an afternoon of enjoyable entertainment, do not miss this interview. Nathan's gonna be at GenCon, so if you see him there, tell him Hi for me. More info about Nathan's games can be found at www.hamsterprophetproductions.com. Annalise has her own corner of the web, annalise.hamsterprophetproductions.com. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Though your tongue is still healing from your encounter with Soyrn cuisine, it will not hamper your interaction with the Crawbiwah. The Crawbiwah have banished the spoken word from their culture, preferring instead to sit in silence. While this makes it difficult to know when the meeting is over, rest assured that at some point, the meeting will end. Bring a lunch. And a dinner. And a breakfast. And another lunch.

On Soyrn, the carnivorous plant people who rule will invite you to a typical Soyrn meal. While it will be impossible for you to eat the small, kitten-like creature they will serve you, it is acceptable to put itâs head in your mouth, remove it, and then compliment the chef on her excellent preparation. Keep in mind that the Soyrnites do not cook food so much as stun it, and it may awaken before you get a chance to remove itâs head from your mouth.

This is a very special video only episode of FanboyHell. Thursday night, I had the pleasure of going over Jared Axelrod's and J.R. Blackwell's house to record an interview on the greatness that is Batman The Dark Knight with Jared. After we wrapped that hour and a half interview/conversation (Which as you read this I am still probably editing) I mentioned that I would also like to interview Panda as well since I am a huge fan of The Voice of Free Planet X. Jared said he would go upstairs and see if Panda wasn't napping. So Jared goes upstairs and comes back down with Panda and he is totally up for it. This was meant only to be a audio interview in the beginning but MAinPA decided to record it on our Flip video and upon watching the footage we felt a moral obligation to share this with other Panda fans on the interwebs. In this battle of the minds we get an exclusive announcement with the bear himself about upcoming Panda projects. His thoughts on Kung-Fu Panda and Panda's theory of the internets. This is Panda's first interview, video interview no less and to quote the talented J.R. Blackwell This is some exclusive shit! SO ENJOY!

Feedback day! At long last! But the joy of returning to listener comments is tempered by this grave reality: I will not be daily next week. Nor the week after. Nor any of week succeeding, until Dragon*Con. Did I mention I'm a guest this year? I'm guest at Dragon*Con this year. In any case, lots to do before the big day, so in order to get everything ready, I'm going weekly until after the con. Just one episode on Wednesday, and the an Aliens You Will Meet ep on Thursday. It'll be rough, but I think we can both make it. In the meantime, you can go put a photo of yourself in your finest at Clothes of Free Planet X Flickr group. Panda and I have already done so. Internet sites of note mentioned in this episode: Can of Spiders: toomanylegs.vox.com The Poet's Passage Podcast: thepoetspassage.libsyn.com Have Games Will Travel: www.havegameswilltravel.net Utilikilts: www.utilikilts.com Tea & Chat Podcast: teaandchat.com Into The Dark with the Computer King: www.computerkingonline.com The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Nardinineâs denizens worship their planet as a god and consider dirt, grime and other filth to be sacred. Bathing is unheard of to the Nardininians, so it will be a good idea for you to abstain from it as well, during your stay. Luckily, you will arrive on one of the holiests of days for the Nardininians, and will be asked to participate in the ceremonial mud-wrestling. This will give you a nice coating of Nar din ine soil to wear throughout your stay.

Part 2 of my talk with Jason Adams of Random Signal about the losers who pepper superhero universes. D-List heroes and villains, whose existence is a vital part of the metahuman culture. Seeing as how Jason shares my love for the weird, uncommon characters that make up the D-Lists of both Marvel and DC comics, I knew this would be an epic discussion. But could I foresee that it would be so epic to require 2 episodes? No sir, I did not. Here's who we talked about: Rocket Racoon Mike Mignola Legion of Super Pets Comet Ace the Bat-hound Power Girlâs cat Lockheed Falcon H.E.R.B.I.E. Inhumans Lockjaw Black Bolt Karnak The Red Bee Black Panther Catman Suicide Squad Blue Devil Slipknot Thunderbolts American Eagle Paste Pot Pete The Wizard Starman Ragdoll Solomon Grundy Congorilla & Congo Bill Forgotten Heroes Cave Carson Sea Devils Challengers of the Unknown Task Force X Doom Patrol Deathstroke the Terminator Adam Strange Elongated Man Dr. Psycho Angle Man Cheetah Circe The Fishermen The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Matthew Wayne Selznick reads my story You Can't Get There From Here, as part of his Sovereign Summer Sunday Webathon. See the other videos of the Webathon at www.mattselznick.com Brave Men Run Webathon Videos by Matthew Wayne Selznick is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

I sit down with Jason Adams of Random Signal to talk about the losers who pepper superhero universes. D-List heroes and villains, whose existence is a vital part of the metahuman culture. Seeing as how Jason shares my love for the weird, uncommon characters that make up the D-Lists of both Marvel and DC comics, I knew this would be an epic discussion. But could I foresee that it would be so epic to require 2 episodes? No sir, I did not. Here's what we talked about: Hypno Hustler Monster By Mail Jawbone Radio Red Ghost and the Super Apes Ambush Bug Keith Giffin Warren Ellis âOn Mining Marvelâ Gamecock Brother Voodoo Rocket Racoon Monark Starstalker Nextwave The Stranger The In-Betweener The Phantom Stranger The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Panda returns! And not a moment too soon! He's here to talk about his new forum, his currant favorite song, answer a voicemail, and reveal what book he totally not reading. Not at all. It totally isn't Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Totally not. Panda's Forum is located at panda.oxfoot.com Oxfoot is the canary. All forums have canaries. Panda's currently favorite song, Cup of Brown Joy, was performed by Elemental and produced by Tom Caruana, from the album 'rebels without applause.' You can find more information and work by these artists at www.myspace.com/mcelemental. The astounding video for Cup of Brown Joy can be found on YouTube here. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Repetition is a virtue to the citizens of Biscoush, and nothing is more important than doing the same thing over and over every day. Do not worry about whether or not your visit will disrupt their routine; their Head of Planet has an intergalactic dignitary meeting every day after lunch. On days when there are no intergalactic dignitaries, the Head of Planet has the meeting anyway, using a hand puppet as a stand-in. It has been a long time since Biscoush has had an ambassadorial visit, so do not be unnerved when the Head of Planet talks not to you, but to his upraised hand. It is merely the force of habit.

Sorry for the delay! We discover Kevinâs fate, Mattâs desires, and perhaps weâll meet a new character soon. Filed Under: Podcasts â The Takeover Tags: The Takeover Donât forget to check out the cast list for more information! More episodes of The Takeover available at murverse.com and zombinc.net

Are you ready to rock? I can't heeeeeaaaaaarrrrrrr yyyyyyooooooouuuuuu.... âI Told You To Beat Itâ was mashed-up by Divide And Kreate. You can download it and other mash-ups at divideandkreate.com âUnpretty Todayâ was mashed-up by A+D You can download it and other mash-ups at aplusd.net âEpic Black Rockâ was mashed-up by D.J. Lobsterdust. You can download it and other mash-ups at djlobsterdust.com The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

When about midway of a certain block the policeman suddenly slowed his walk. In the doorway of a darkened hardware store a man leaned, with an unlighted cigar in his mouth. As the policeman walked up to him the man spoke up quickly. It's all right, officer, he said, reassuringly. I'm just waiting for a friend. It's an appointment made twenty years ago. Sounds a little funny to you, doesn't it? Well, I'll explain if you'd like to make certain it's all straight... After Twenty Years was written by O. Henry. It is currently in the public domain. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

On Tocline, do not wear pants. You will see other Toclines wearing pants. This does not mean you should wear them. You can wear the rest of your usual diplomatic uniform, but whatever you do, do not wear pants.

What is the secret of Matthew Wayne Selznick, author of Brave Men Run? You'll have to listen to the interview to find out, but may have something to do with this stuff he posted on his website: Ladies and gentlemen, on Sunday, July 13, 2008, every hour on the hour for eight hours beginning at 10:00 AM Eastern / 7:00 AM Pacific time, I will present a brand new, original short story set in the first year of the Sovereign Era universe. These stories â official Sovereign Era canon â are from some of the most respected authors of podcast fiction: J.C. Hutchins (The â7th Sonâ trilogy)Mur Lafferty (âPlaying For Keepsâ)Nathan Lowell (The âGolden Age of the Solar Clipperâ novels)Matt Wallace (âThe Next Fixâ)J.R. Blackwell (Voices of Tomorrow)P.G. Holyfield (âMurder at Avedon Hillâ)Jared Axelrod (The Voice of Free Planet X) Iâll be reading each story aloud, on camera, absolutely live, in random order â so be sure to check in every hour so you donât miss your favorite author! The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

I've been working on a beast of a story, and the reason it's a beast of a story is that until very recently, I was trying to write it with my Editor Hat on. The Editor Hat is a powerful tool, but nothing stops your writing dead quite like it. It certainly did in my case. As I say in the show, you can't build and polish at the same time. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Sergeant Ariel Odipo held back a grimace as her squadron approached the Sepch encampment. She doubted they could see her face through the mirrored visor of her helmet, but she wasnÃâât taking any chances. She loosened her grip on her rifle as well. The tension was thick enough as it was. This was a peacekeeping mission, after all. Besides, these people weren't the problem. Odipo had grown fond of their crabby little faces and way they waved their eyestalks when she approached. They were not her problem... Special thanks to Christiana Ellis and J.R. Blackwell for their voice talent this episode This episode also featured Srvival In A House Darkening by Micheal Masley. More information and work by this artist can be found at magnatune.com The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

The Dreeslings communicate through the transmission of viruses between hosts. Unfortunately, your usual pre-landing inoculations will make you the equivalent of a deaf mute. This may be for the best, as while Dreeslingsâ language will not kill you, if you are infected by the wrong joke or declaration, you may wish you were.

Yeah, J.R. Blackwell and I love our television, like any good nerds. We love The Middleman. We love Doctor Who. But having long since deep-sixed the cable, we cannot watch them the moment the come on the boob-tube. Also, we don't live in the United Kingdom. Naturally, as podcasters, we turn to the internets to solve all our problems. But there is no legitimate way to download the shows we love. We'd pay for it, if only we COULD. But we can't. There is no way to legitimate get the shows we want in any reasonable amount of time. Waiting months for the DVD is, quite frankly, unacceptable. Forced by neglect, we do the only thing we can. We turn to piracy. And we aren't happy about it, neither. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

Theme music is Faithful by The Shillas. This week's story is Hold Me Like a Girl written and read by Jared Axelrod. I'm proud for this to be my first gay sex story. Even if you think you don't like this kind of story, listen anyways. You might be surprised. Jared is filling in for me this week while I recover from a nasty case of bronchitis. My voice is only just this moment coming back at all, and I would not have been able to give you a show nearly this good. Thank you, Jared.

We learn a little more about how Caroline deals with problem employees, Maureen tries to make friends, and Kevin makes a decision. Donât forget to check out the cast list for more information! More episodes of The Takeover available at murverse.com and zombinc.net

The Flusians are aquatic by nature, but can poke their heads out of water for a short time in order to converse with land-based off-worlders. Due to the lack of any sort of landmass on Flusie, you will be expected to meet their delgation on their spaceship. While their ship will be filled to the brim with water, they will have constructed a ânon-fish bowlâ for your comfort. A little plastic castle will be put in the non-fish-bowl, to remind you of home.

The fact remains, ladies and gentlemen, we have to meet the Geert price. We ought to do better than the Geert price, but due to the nature of our company, we'll probably get by merely with meeting them. But I will tell you this, we lose this bid, we lose the planet... Special thanks to Kate Eckert, Brendan Dalton, Benjamin Dyme and J.R. Blackwell for providing the voice talent for this episode. This episode featured performed by Barry Phillips. More information and work by this artist can be found at www.magnatune.com The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

I had a chance to sit down with one of the most talented, prolific podcasters around, Christiana Ellis, which is not something you turn down. We discuss the demands of a daily project, writing comedy of audio, and use of female leads with moral flexibility. All things Christiana can be found here: christianaellis.com But you might also want wander over to these places as well: Nina Kimberly the Merciless Space Casey Christianaâs Shallow Thoughts The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

My good and well-read friend Dan joins J.R. Blackwell and I in a roundtable--or is it salon? It may be a salon--about candy literature, comics and movies. It is also revealed that J.R. and I saw Bumblebee on the University of Pennsylvania's campus during the filming of TRANSFORMERS 2. It's okay to be jealous. The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net

You ready for another feedback episode? You better be, because this one is huge. It was last seen destroying Tokyo. Quite a few podcasts were mentioned this week: Jâs Indie-Rock Mayhem qfsmayhem.blogspot.com I Motor Away www.imotoraway.com RadioClash www.mutantpop.net/radioclash Radio Free Hipster www.hipsterplease.com Also, check out Selganorâs character sheet for Gretel, the Witch-Hunter, and here's the GRIMM RPG he mentioned: www.fantasyflightgames.com/hr02.html The Voice of Free Planet X theme was written and performed by Russell Collins of www.clockworkaudio.net.

When dealing with the sentient planet Maelstrose, you may find it difficult to get its attention, due to your relatively minuscule size. When you do not succeed in getting the planet to respond to your hails, do not let it bother you. Mealstrose is 130 billion years old, and as such, its stories are long, boring, and it would probably fall asleep in the middle of talking to you anyway.