Infected by Martin Sargent (Large Quicktime)

Watch this, the 50th and last episode of Infected, shot live at a seedy dive bar. And now, a final word from the captain of The Good Ship Infected...

Well, it's been a fun ride, but it looks more and more like the Good Ship Infected can no longer weather the stormy seas. Hurricane Jim just proved too hellish for our proud captain and crew.

Join Martin, Gator, and your favorite Revision3 personalities for a live taping of Infected this Saturday, December 1, in San Francisco.

In this crushingly decent episode of Infected, Fark.com founder Drew Curtis stops by the Sarge Shack for some enlightened discussion about the news, beer, and girls.

The presidential election is one year away, but The Infected Army is already picking its candidate.

You know what the real meaning of Halloween is? Fun! Just kidding. It's deviltry and wickedness. Regardless, the annual Infected Halloween Party has it all, from tasty treats to filthy, wet tricks.

Martin and The Gator return to The Stardust Rodeo to relive the splendor of their L.A. lifestyles and are joined by entertainment reporter Johnny O'Bannion. Though maybe Gator should have been more careful about where he tossed his cigarette butts...

If the world has you by the tail and is dragging you through the fetid sewers behind your ex-girlfriend's house as she watches laughing with her new man toy, this episode of Infected will turn it all around. Get inspired!

Is there a race of reptilian humanoids living below the earth's surface? According to our cryptozoologist friend, you bet your sweet iguana tail there is. No word on whether they taste like chicken yet, but we'll keep you posted.

An episode of Infected that's such a sweet and delicous treat, children will find DVD copies of it in their Easter baskets. Those who don't will be mericlessly teased at school and perhaps killed on the bus.

The forces of darkness continue their diabolical plans to snuff out the pure white light of Infected, but Martin and The Gator have drawn their fiery swords and girded their loins for battle...

Struggling to keep the show above water, Martin and The Gator fight the murderous riptide formed in the wake of Hurricane Jim (the new uber-boss at Revision3) by reviving some of the classic bits that made Infected #1 on iTunes so very long ago...

Martin de-stains a spot on the Sarge Sofa for his former TV pal and sometime lover Laura Swisher, who tells us about her new shows TurboVision and The Burning Question at TV.com. Plus a DragonCon fashion critique!

Martin and The Gator welcome America's Pleasure Coach, Dr. Sadie Allison, to learn some high tech masturbation tips. Plus, turns out Gator's not dead after all.

Digg CEO and Revision3 Chairman-of-the-Board Jay Adelson guest hosts this bittersweet edition of Infected, offering insight not only into how you too can become an Internet billionaire, but also into Kevin Rose's drunkin run-ins with the police. Plus, a scholar uses math and logic to determine the greatest swear word on the Internet. And we say goodbye to Gator, who has died.

Huzzah! In this magical installment of Infected, powerful wizard Blackwolf Dragonmaster, Duke of Talisker rides in on his filthy broomstick to plumb the depths of death metal, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons, and, to a far lesser extent, reality. Plus, a new episode of the crime caper "HotShot & The Kid," entertainment reporter Johnny O'Bannion, and the hot, oiled-up quiz, "Silicon or Silicone?" Grab your 20-sided die and prepare to make a saving throw versus fun, you're Infected.

Martin and Gator take a break from Hollywood and head to Old San Francisco Town for the summer, not just to beat the heat but also to try to embezzle some of web wunderkind Kevin Rose's millions. Plus, another genius entrepreneur, Alex Chiu, the storied inventor of the Immortality Rings, uses his nimble mind to review the summer blockbuster 'Transformers' in a new installment of "Chiu on Film." All this and a very moving appearance by entertainment reporter Johnny O'Bannion, who eulogizes our heroes' flight from The Stardust Rodeo. It's San Franfected! P.S.: Poopy Pants.

Martin and The Gator roll back time to the golden age of Amiga computers, the 8-bit Nintendo and Windows 1.0, set to the white hot rhymes (emphasis on white) of our remarkably talented guest The Average Home Boy. All this plus murderous lesbians! If only life during the Reagan Administration was really this much fun.

So you've got Martin, Gator and Johnny O'Bannion saying weird and funny things about eCommerce. No big deal. But what you really need to know is that there's this grandmother in Utah who hadn't had sex in 15 years so she turned her vacuum cleaner into a vibrator and came hard in seconds. She explains how she did it and how you too can get off using household appliances. Sold! It's the Infected eCommerce Fire Sale.

In addition to being America's foremost authorities on technology, Martin and The Gator are great readers. And they bring this passion for the written word to the first annual Infected Festival of Books. Drew Curtis, founder of Fark.com, stops by to talk about his new book, It's Not News, It's Fark: How the Mass Media Tries to Pass Off Crap as News. Plus there's Rickey Kang, Johnny O'Bannion and a new game: Black Feminist Book or Black Themed Porno? Curl up next to the fire wearing your inside pants with a nice snifter of tawny port and crack open The Infected Festival of Books!

Extraterrestrials. Do they exist? According to our esteemed guest Michael Horn, the authorized American media representative of perhaps the world's best known contactee, a Swiss, one-armed farmer by name of Billy Meier, you're G-D right they do. And he shows us indisputable photo and video evidence to prove it. It's mind-bending stuff, as are the episode's otherworldly visits from self-defense expert Rickey Kang and entertainment reporter Johnny O'Bannion. It's the Infected UFO Abductathon. Believe!!

Everyone poos, but not everyone thinks so deeply and speaks so impassionedly about poos and their impact on the soul of our great nation as Martin and The Gator. Except, perhaps, PoopReport.com founder Dave Praeger, who joins us this week to discuss his new work of scholarship, Poop Culture. Also, Scott Herriott tells us he once horribly shat his khakis while driving down the 405 freeway. Dropping mud will never be the same after you've watched this, The Infected Poo Spectacular, our finest achievement to date.

Former TechTV funnyman Scott Herriott stops by to discuss his impassioned hunt for Sasquatch, his own personal white whale. And he shows us footage he shot in the deep woods that he believes proves the existence of the hairy beast. All this plus more Joey Cam and a glimpse at a brand new Revision3 show.

In what may well be the most finely wrought, criticially adored episode of Infected to date, Martin and the Gator give audience to their entertainment industry pals. Immortality Rings inventor Alex Chiu nimbly reviews film, Rickey Kang adds another kick-ass title to his list of all time favorite albums, and Johnny O'Bannion gives us the most moving Hollywood update of his storied career. If Pat O'Brien had showed up with some whores and blow, this would have been the perfect episode.

Infected is a show about the Internet. Therefore, as responsible journalists, it's incumbent upon Martin and The Gator to cover a major element of the online world: pornography. In this special porn edition, Gator's favorite adult film star Nicole Sheradin stops by the SargeShack, as does Kory Kupiszewski, a young perv entrepreneur who's trying to start the iTunes of porn. Watch the episode to learn how you can get a free download from his site MovieQuickie.com! Adults only, please.

Ah, springtime. The season of rebirth and revitalization. And with this episode of Infected, the show enters a new, stronger phase of tremendousness. It has Rickey Kang, a call from Martin's former online girlfriend Big Missy, an explanation of the whereabouts of little Joey, and several new features like Evil Bert and Gator on the Open Road. Spring has sprung, and you know what that does to young man's fancy! Get Infected.

Put on your softest, most non-chafing pajamas, build a fort out of your soiled couch cushions, and grab a bowl of salty snacks such as Fritos or Funyuns, because you’'re invited to The Infected Slumber Party! Oh, it'’ll be a wild night of playing computer games, pillow fights and frank talk about the plight of mankind in the digital age. Just like the slumber parties you went to as a kid! Popular radio personality David Lawrence sleeps over, as does our entertainment reporter Johnny O'’Bannion. What follows is unpredictable and in many ways dangerous, so you might want to have your mom wait out in the driveway with the car idling until you settle in.

Don't have any Valentines Day plans? No problem, now you've got a hot date with Infected. Martin and Gator trade wisdom on how to best snare a desirable doxy, and also solicit advice from two renowned lady killers: Orlando Bloom and The Tron Guy. Plus, find out how you can win a double date with Martin and The Gator. It's clearly the most awesome Valentines Day ever.

That's right, Infected is now in full motion video, so stop coming up to us at the food court in the mall, crying into your Sbarro, begging for it. We heard you. Now you better like it. The first video episode is The Infected Campaign for Life '07, Martin, Gator and Joey's attempt to make life less nightmarish than it was in '06. And this video business, we're still working out the kinks, so hold off on the hate mail until at least the next video episode. Unless you send it to Joey. That would be just fine.

This year, despite his hi-tech pedigree, Martin plans on having an Olde World Christmas, replete with figgy pudding, roast goose, and tuberculosis. Theres to be a pageant, and all the Revision3 guys are coming by to play a role: Gator as all three wise men, Jay Adelson as Joseph, Kevin Rose as the Baby Jesus, and Joey as a donkey. Rickey Kang also stops by to share his new Christmas poems, and we wrap this whole beautiful gift in the shining bow that is Johnny OBannion. Its going to be the best Olde World Christmas ever!!!